Golf Quotes

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I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Groucho Marx

If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him.

Lou Holtz

Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. 

Grantland Rice

Golf is like a love affair.  If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. 

Arthur Daley

Forget your opponents; always play against par. 

Sam Snead

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one. 

Martha Beckman

A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water. 

Bob Ryan

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron.  Not even God can hit a 1-iron. 

Lee Trevino

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off.  I shot the happiest 83 of my life. 

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Don't play too much golf.  Two rounds a day are plenty. 

Harry Vardon

Gone golfin'... be back dark thirty. 

Author Unknown

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. 

Jimmy DeMaret

"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said."

US Open TV Commentator

"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced."

Lee Trevino

 

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